"Draw Something" is the next big asynchronous 2-player iPhone game (and probably any other touchscreen phone, but let's not split hairs... people are going to start using "iPhone" the way old people call every single video game console a Nintendo), and has taken the throne from previous holder Words with Friends, which takes way too long and gets annoying in like 3 minutes. Draw Something, as its title would suggest, has one player draw something and the other player then guesses. Then the second player draws something else and sends it back. The game offers you 3 choices of things to draw of varying levels of difficulty, and then it's up to you.
Now, you probably have played and are thinking that the object of the game is to draw your picture well enough to get the other player to correctly guess it. But you would be wrong. The actual point of the game is to screw with your friends' heads and convince them that you aren't quite right in the head. Because I am something of an expert in this field, allow me to assist.
One of the most obvious ways to abuse your friends is just to draw the wrong thing. Sure, you may have chosen "tennis" as your drawing subject, but no one says you have to draw something related to tennis at first. Try drawing an elephant, adding a whole bunch of details and taking a really long time to do it. Then erase the whole thing and draw a tennis racket. Your friends won't know what hit them!
Another option is to pick an object with a very distinctive characteristic, but not to draw that characteristic until the end. I was supposed to draw a cyclops for Matt, so I drew a head and muscular arms, then added some ragged clothing. Not until after about 45 seconds did I add the single eye, which would have given away the answer too early. You worked hard on your picture, so make those jerks wait it out. Another fun idea is to pick something easy like pig, but then draw a really detailed picture. Draw a barn and some roosters. Maybe stick a farmer holding a pitchfork in there. It's probably a sunny day, so put the sun up in the sky. Perhaps some clouds if you're feeling that particular vibe. The important thing is that the little piggy isn't part of the picture until the end.
You can also mess with your pals when it's your turn to guess. The first thing is to try to guess the word before the drawing has started. This gets easier as you play more rounds and see more of the options, but it's not too difficult with the shorter words. If it's a 3-letter answer, just start plugging in "cow" or "pig" or "log" or whatever you can from your letters. Once the drawing has started, you can keep trying to guess, but I prefer an alternative tactic: try to form insults or curses so that when they watch you try to solve it, they will feel insulted. Depending on your opponent, penis is almost always an appropriate choice, but go with your gut.
Another option includes some abstract thinking. Sure, the game is probably expecting you to draw a bluejay or cardinal or something when you pick "bird," but why not draw a green tank top and put the number 33 on it? This has an added benefit of letting you know if your friend knows who Larry Bird is, because if they don't, it's time to end that friendship.
If you're really up for some mind games, just don't draw anything for 30-45 seconds. Put a little dot in the corner of the screen to make sure the game thinks you're drawing, then just sit there. Watch a few commercials or something. Then it's time to draw. They'll think something is wrong with their phone. Suckers!
There are lots of other ways to abuse your friends' game time, so think of your own methods if none of these are to your liking. Just remember - even though it's a cooperative game, there's always room for mental abuse.
-Jon
