This story isn't quite as good without my diagram.
Today when I was taking Odin out, Giles decided he wanted to be on the other side of the door (which is a common cat occurrence (because they're stupid)). Fine, I was already opening the door, so it did not inconvenience me. Well, not until he decided he would going to go under the door. Except that Giles, like all these dumb cats, is a fat shit, so he didn't make it smoothly under the door, which slammed the door back into my leg and knocked me off balance as I was stepping toward the steps.
On the plus side, when he got caught on the door, he panicked and tried to run way, which led him directly into the path of my flailing leg, thus giving him a decent kick.
Take that, jerk.
-Jon
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