You Thought This Was Dead?

That's just silly. Now, I can't speak for the other yokels that generate posts here, but I have just had a fairly uneventful few weeks and didn't want to bore you with the mundane nature of my life. There was plenty of new stuff happening at Mmmm, beers!, and I believe I ate 6 burgers last month, so it's not like you were starved for content. Or "Jon-tent," as I have often called it.*

Fortunately for you, I have a few new things to discuss. This will be the Quick Hits version, and, depending on how I feel, each of these topics may get its own longer post later on.

Endgame by Rise Against is...

fantastic. Great album, and definitely worth every penny I paid for it. All 12 songs (13 if you got the iTunes bonus track) are in the running for best of the album, so that's saying something. If this is not your kind of music, you might suck, so just go back to listening to your crappy country garbage and don't ever talk to me about music again. For everyone else, you should acquire this somehow (legally of course) and let it rock your face off.**

Extreme Couponing is...

ridiculous. Really, you need 66 bottles of mustard? I'm pretty sure my family hasn't used that much mustard in my entire lifetime. I'll grant that the concept is pretty cool, because I would absolutely like to save 90%+ on the cost of my groceries. But the sheer absurdity of some of the purchases combined with the almost laughable forced drama (oh no, the cash register can only handle 500 scans in one transaction, and they have more than that!!!) makes me feel like I have to mock every single person on the show. Including the people in the background.

The government is...

shutting down? Or maybe already shut down? I don't really know, because I don't really care. I may have discussed how dumb the government is in the past (check the "government" tag for more on this), so my opinion of this shutdown is that it's probably for the best. I'm like 85% sure that Chloe and Odin could run things more efficiently than Congress. More nums for everyone!!

The Red Sox are...

sort of terrible so far. At least they've finally won a game, and it was at the Yankees expense, so that's always nice. One of the big things Remy and Orsillo were talking about during one of the games was whether or not it was too early to panic. In my opinion, it's never too early to panic. Panicking is awesome! Except for when I had that actual panic attack at the bar with Alex, Lindsey the Runner, and a couple other people whose names I forgot. That sucked. But panicking in other situations is great, especially when you yell random stuff, run around crazily and maybe throw a folding chair. Plus, being able to panic about sports means the rest of your life is probably not going too badly.

I will leave you with 2 things, which will hopefully A) make you laugh, and B) make you sad about people.

1. A person asked what NASCAR stood for on Yahoo! Answers, and the first response was "Not A Sport, Centered Around Rednecks." Haha, take that NASCAR.
2. Someone in my News Feed had the following as their status: "watching a movie and eating eminems". First off, I'm pretty sure there's only one Eminem. Secondly, and more importantly, you should not advertise your cannibalism on Facebook. Now everyone's going to know!!

People huh? I'll never understand them.

-Jon

* I've actually never used this word. But I like it.

**Actual face rocking may vary. My face is still intact after a couple dozen listenings, so you'll probably be fine.