Random June Thoughts - Part 1

I was going to post this a couple days ago, but the Slick had to show up and actually write something, so I thought I might feel bad if I immediately pushed his post down. And if there's one thing I try to avoid, it's feeling bad. Well, that and scurvy.

Just for the sake of doing it, all thoughts will be posed in the form of a question.

• Do you think that the people who make cherry candy have ever actually eaten a cherry? There's pretty much no overlap in flavors there at all. But no one has a problem with that. Have you ever met someone who picked up an actual cherry to eat, but then spit it out because it doesn't taste like the candy? Side note - don't spit cherry pits at people, because they will stain their shirts and they will get mad at you.


• Did you ever notice that both Randy Johnson's real name and his nickname "The Big Unit" have wang references in them? Well you did now! Every time you see him on a Geico commercial, you're going to think of wangs now.


• Why is opening a checking account such a major ordeal? It should be like a 10 minute project. I give the bank some dollars, they give me a bank account number and mail me some checks. Instead it takes about the same amount of time it takes to get seen at the ER at Baystate. Haha, hospital burn!


• Are calf socks suddenly cool? I'm not talking about the socks that some basketball players wear that come up almost to their knees. I mean socks that go about 6 inches up people's calves. I see people wearing them all the time, and I laugh (usually to myself) every time. Seriously, they look terrible.


• Why do people break their cell phones so much, and, more importantly, why do they have to broadcast this fact on Facebook? I think that if you break your cell phone in a non-awesome way, you should be put on a technology hiatus for 2 weeks. So if your phone is toast because you jumped off a bridge to save a drowning person, that's cool. But if it's broken because you dropped in it your beer? Sorry, no more fancy toys for you. Maybe then you'll be more responsible. Know how many times I've broken a cell phone in the last 8 years? Zero. And I'm probably the most likely person to break one based on my track record of being unable to keep myself out of harm's way. Basically what I'm saying here is that people are stupid.

Stupid Facebook Story of the Week

People are constantly leaving their computer logged in to Facebook or not paying attention to their cell phones, and their friends, appropriately, put up hilarious statuses that usually revolve around buttsex. Um, instead of commenting on the status that it wasn't you that wrote it, why not just delete it? Fools...

-Jon