A Challenger Approaches

Remember that certain cable company that we've had such fantastic dealings with in the past? You should, since it's literally the last post that was here. If you don't, you may need to get your brain examined, since it's not working correctly and may be a sign of a more serious issue. And more importantly, a new company has entered the fray in the competition for "Who Can Piss Me Off the Most By Providing Shitacular Customer Service." It's a prestigious award. This new company shall be known as Shmay Shmee and Shmee, just so that I hopefully won't get creepy stalker guys commenting.

My phone randomly started a neat new trick, which was to constantly assume I was pressing the center "Confirm" button. This results in continually starting email drafts, sending half-typed text messages, making me nearly unable to call anyone, randomly muting and unmuting me when someone calls, and lots of other sweet benefits. As you can probably guess, this does not make me happy.

So Kate tells me that I can check online if I'm eligible for an upgrade. That seems like a pretty useful feature. I haven't ever tried to access the account online, so obviously I'll have to register first. This consists of entering my phone number and the last 4 digits of my SS number, both of which I know. Also, since I'm on the account as an approved user or whatever stupid asshat policy they enforce there, this should go smoothly.

Why, oh why, do I ever think things will go smoothly when dealing with large corporations?

Of course it turns into an absolute disaster, involving one of the slowest helpers of all time. She was very friendly, but everything took like 5 minutes. And then they sent me a temporary password so that I could log on. Which wasn't that helpful, since every time I try to open a text message, my phone starts clicking all crazily and makes it nearly impossible to read anything.

I did finally get logged in, and it looks like I have insurance on my phone. Hopefully it covers the phone getting stuck in the drywall, since that's about 3 minutes away from happening. Sorry this wasn't funnier, but I am so angry right now that I can't be humorous.

-Jon