Meteorologists are. . .

geniuses. Seriously. They get paid to produce absolutely nothing valuable to society. Unless you count "ruining my summer" as being valuable. In which case, fuck you.

It is currently 2:17 pm on a Wednesday. Had this been a normal Wednesday, I would be 13 minutes away from getting out of work. However, since a bunch of clueless jackoffs decided that there was going to be a huge, wrath-of-God snowstorm today, the superintendent canceled school. Great, right?

Wrong. As of this moment, there is a mild amount of snow flurry activity happening and nothing sticking to the roads. Clearly this is not the type of weather where we need to quickly run out to Big Y and stock up for the long haul. But now I have to go to another day of school in June, when I would obviously rather be not going to school and instead be going to France. So now I have to see when the new last day of school is going to be and then find out if that is going to mean I have to push my departure date back, which would inconvenience Alex and his family and also cost me precious France vacation time. Stupid meteorologists. . .

The part that really gets me is that people were prepping for this snow day on Sunday. How can you even take a 3+ day prediction seriously from a bunch of people who can barely get the current weather correct? There was pretty much a 0% percent chance that school would be open today because some idiot decided that the storm of the year was coming and started acting like Chicken Little, and then a bunch of other idiots listened to the first idiot (making them 2nd degree idiots) because they thought he knew something when instead he was just busy trying to remove his head from his ass.

Point being, since they are getting paid for basically guessing, meteorologists are geniuses. Actually, they aren't guessing. At least with guessing you have a shot at being correct. They are just making shit up and seeing what you'll believe. I bet meteorology conventions are hilarious. They all tell stories about their ridiculous predictions and how people reacted to them.

You know what? This post should have been about how stupid people are. The next person who tells me what the weather says is going to happen is getting backhanded if it is wrong.

Also, Brian Lapis has the most ridiculously large calves for a meteorologist. He must spend his entire gym time on the calf press. Seriously, they are like my quads.

-Jon