what you're currently reading. It doesn't really make much sense to throw that in but I'm certainly not going to break the only tradition this blog's got going for it. And now my weekend in review:
Paranormal Activity
This movie was absolute shit. It certainly isn't as bad as Spanglish or The Terminal, but it's without a doubt one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Completely uninteresting. I'm not sure how anyone thought this piece of shit was scary. There's only one scene that could slightly potentially possibly maybe be considered scary and that's the last one, and even that wasn't that scary. I was thinking, "Oh I bet I know what's going to happen" But I didn't because what I was thinking was more fucked up than what actually happened. And I'm kind of a pussy. So fuck that.
Paintballing
I'd never been paintballing until yesterday. When we first walked in wearing our sweatpants and hoodies it was obvious that we were a little out of place. Some of those guys took that shit waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. It's a fuckin bizarro world. Apparently the nerdier you are in real life the cooler you are in the paintball world. It's like a real life World of Warcraft. No, I don't have my own gun. No, I don't have my own fucking camo uniform with some sort of lame nickname. No, I don't spend the time in between rounds working on my finger speed so I can fire ten paintballs per second. Why? Because at some point I want a girl to like me. Putting aside all that stuff it was really enjoyable and I imagine if you were playing with a group of buddies it would be incredibly fun. You want to go paintballing? Count me in. But if it's a surprise birthday present, do not tell Mark Martel.
District 9
This is not a new movie but I watched it again yesterday so here's a review. Paranormal activity fucking sucked so I didn't present my 3-question movie review. District 9 however is 3 question worthy. Question 1: Would I watch this movie again? Well I did, so yes. Question 2: Would I recommend that someone see this movie in theaters? Not really an option, but I personally feel that it was a very entertaining movie so I would suggest that you see this movie. Question 3: The all-important does it make sense? For the most part yes. There's a few details that make you think "I don't really understand why he would do that" but overall it's not flawed in any sense. Just don't watch it with Mark Martel because he managed to ruin the movie with only one sentence. ONE. That's fucking impressive, you know, if it wasn't your first time watching it. Not a great day for Martelly.
And now some quick opinions:
1. Dunkin Donuts: If I ask for French Vanilla do not give me Hazelnut. I know what the difference is you fucktard.
2. Metro: A pretty shitty movie from 1997 featuring Eddie Murphy and the rogueishly handsome Michael Rappaport. But don't bother watching. Not that you were going to.
3. Andy Roddick: He's a good looking guy but he's not that good looking. Not since Tom Brady has there been an athlete whose looks are so vastly overrated. Also, I heard he's a 4.5/10 in the sack.
4. Tim Burton: Alice in Wonderland looks like absolute shit. Stop working with Johnny Depp and stop making movies that have your signature bullshit look to them. You're worse than the Geico cavemen. Get a new fucking gimmick. Asshole.
5. The Superbowl: I wish Roger Goodell would stop picking the winner and just let them play for the championship.
6. Stealing beer glasses from bars: What? Me? No, I brought this one from home.
-Slick
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Your posts are far funnier than mine. I think you might have gone into the completely wrong field.
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