It's been a busy day here at mmmmopinions. First Jon praised the efficiency of the USPS. Then I wrote a piece making fun of some stuff (shocking right?) but then some Matt kid decided that he disagreed with my opinion so he started a feud that's sweeping the nation, "Bracketologygate." Make sure you go back and read them all because this has been without a doubt our most successful day ever. Or least successful, depends on how you view things but as you know, I tend to be a glass-half-full kinda guy. On with the rebuttal, which I'm going to try to do like an adult i.e. as little swearing as possible.
For starters, I have to congratulate this Matt guy on capturing my voice in his blog. Pretty much spot on. However, I did not clearly articulate what it is about Bracketology that I hate so much. I have no problem with Joey "Brackets" Lunardi making a fake bracket seeding teams where he thinks they'll be placed. I write a public online diary so who am I to judge? I have absolutely no problem using the selection criteria in order to compare teams, in fact, I believe that was one of the things I praised about Bracketology. Here's what I don't like about it: Doug Gottlieb and a bunch of other fucknuts, I mean jagoffs, I mean . . . sweethearts . . . stand in front of a board showing some team's selection profile. Then they go something like, "If you look at their strength of schedule and their record versus the RPI top 50 then I think they're in." This is where I have my issue with the whole system. That's the end of it. "They're in." End of conversation about that team. Tell me why that team makes it in compared to another team. Tell me about a similar team from years past if that's what this whole system is based on. I've watched Merril Hoge for like 8 minutes use that stupid touch screen board to illustrate one play. If you're not going to show me highlights (which I think I've already made fun of at one point, maybe?) than at least tell me what your opinion is based on. I'm watching live Sportscenter. I clearly don't have a lot going on.
Also, his analogies about ordering something online or checking baseball standings are inappropriate. HEAR THAT MATT? YOU'RE WRONG!!!! HOW DOES THAT TASTE? I like the all caps look. It makes my words more intimidating. They really fly off the screen at you. But I digress. The reason you track a shipment is to make sure at some point you actually receive it. Remember your original Happy Feet slippers? Neither do I because you never got them. Someone checks shipments to make sure their investment has been fulfilled. You only check bracketology if you're a fucking homo. Just kidding, kind of. My point is that tracking a shipment has nothing to do with bracketology because one pertains to receiving an actual good and the other is some guy's opinion about whether a team is good enough to make the tournament, i.e. providing less benefit to society than the Cleveland Orchestra. That one really was a joke.
The baseball analogy is much more relevant but I think you're misinterpreting it. I agree that people check the standings because they want to see how their team is doing in relation to other teams. That's what bracketology apparently provides. But people don't look at standings in May in order to judge whether or not their team is going to make the playoffs. It's about how that team stacks up against the rest of the league. Have they separated themselves from the teams in their division, or their league or all of baseball? Is there one team that's on a completely different level than the other teams? It's not about whether they'll make the playoffs, rather it's whether or not they're playing better than the other teams at this point in the season. I like the ESPN standings because it has all the stats like runs scored and runs allowed and stuff like that so that you can really see how specific parts of your team compare to other competitors. In that regard its probably just like bracketology. But in terms of checking whether or not they'll make the playoffs? I really don't think that factors into it.
This is likley my last post regarding "Bracketologygate" because I'm sure you're either confused or bored or both by it. Don't apply this to this post because I'm sure you'll just be really mean about it but you people (What do you mean "you people"), yeah you people who actually read this crap need to get involved. Leave some comments, let me know how you're feeling. Do you enjoy my profanity laced rants or my incessant need to make fun of every commercial? I don't know because nobody will fucking tell me so I'm stuck here watching bullshit commercials hoping that you assholes give two shits about what I have to say. So speak out.
-Slick
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
UConn Women's Basketball and People That Annoy Me
Today my roommate called me a hater. Well, they say you should just do what you're best at and I enjoy getting angry at things that aren't really that big of a deal. Not really that angry but like pretend angry with lots of yelling and swearing. Whatever. Fuck it. Also I apologize in advance and ex post facto that my posts are so long. But you enjoy it . . . right?
UConn Women's Basketball:
Winning 71 games or whatever their streak will eventually be is impressive. Winning that many games in a row by an average of 30+ points is really impressive. I'm not going to deny that, but here's the thing: don't try to compare men's and women's basketball. They are in no way the same thing. Pat Summit owns the career record for most wins in NCAA Basketball. But she coaches women. When there are like 6 good teams it's not really that difficult to win that many games. Bob Knight's 903 wins are much more impressive because he wasn't the only fucking team out there. It's not the same thing. Now before you call me a sexist or say anything you can't take back just wait a minute. I said the same thing last week when the Division III coach passed Bob Knight. Don't act like they're the same thing. You have to take it for what it is. Is he the winningest men's coach in Division III history? Yeah but that doesn't mean that they're the same thing. Don't compare the UConn women's streak to the UCLA men's streak. The UConn women are exceptional at what they do, but if you want to compare them to a men's team have them play any NCAA men's team and see what happens. I bet they get absolutely crushed. So don't try to tell me that this is the most impressive college basketball team of all time because then you're belittling what it really means and turn it into some kind of joke where assholes like me write some opinion piece that no one reads. Also, women suck at basketball.
Bracketology:
If you've watched Sportscenter at any point this month you undoubtedly saw something about whether or not a team will qualify for the NCAA tournament. A fellow mmmmopinioner and I have disagreed about the value of these segments but this is my mmmmopinion and he is more than welcome to write his own. I don't like it. I don't need to know on February 16 whether or not Virginia Tech has done enough to qualify for the tournament because the season isn't over. Do you want to make the tournament? Win some more fucking games. No team has ever hurt their chances by winning a game. Besides, it changes every week depending on what you do that week so I just think it's fucking stupid. With that being said he correctly pointed out that it's a useful tool in comparing two teams because you can look at which team has a more impressive resume up to that point. I didn't think of that so I thank him for pointing it out. But here's why I hate it. This morning on Sportscenter Doug Gottlieb was giving his opinion on whether or not certain teams were in, if theoretically they released the brackets today. On the 9am version he had Illinois in the tournament. At 10am, he had them out of the tournament. WELL WHAT CHANGED DOUG? WHAT HAD ILLINOIS DONE IN AN HOUR TO WORK THEIR WAY OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT? Douchefuck.
Adding Gate to the end of every scandal:
It drives me absolutely batshit fucking crazy. It was called the Watergate scandal because it was the Watergate hotel complex. They didn't just add a random fucking word. What does Spygate mean? What's the gate in that? What does strippergate or hookergate or whatever they called it mean? What does Winegate have to do with a way to guard your property? Maybe it's the easiest way to refer to a scandal, but it makes me legitimately angry. I swear to god that if you use gate to refer to a scandal around me I will probably give you an angry look and use some language that will make your grandfather blush. It's probably on the Transformers 2 level of how much I hate it.
So that I don't die at age 26 from a heart attack/stress I'll again choose to end things on the lighter side. Today I was walking across campus between classes when I heard a fellow scholar utter the following sentence. Now be forewarned, I have absolutely no idea what this means or what context it could possibly be used in. But here goes: Excitedly talking to a group of friends she exclaimed, "But I'm just so super not-pregnant right now." I . . . just . . . don't even know.
-Slick
UConn Women's Basketball:
Winning 71 games or whatever their streak will eventually be is impressive. Winning that many games in a row by an average of 30+ points is really impressive. I'm not going to deny that, but here's the thing: don't try to compare men's and women's basketball. They are in no way the same thing. Pat Summit owns the career record for most wins in NCAA Basketball. But she coaches women. When there are like 6 good teams it's not really that difficult to win that many games. Bob Knight's 903 wins are much more impressive because he wasn't the only fucking team out there. It's not the same thing. Now before you call me a sexist or say anything you can't take back just wait a minute. I said the same thing last week when the Division III coach passed Bob Knight. Don't act like they're the same thing. You have to take it for what it is. Is he the winningest men's coach in Division III history? Yeah but that doesn't mean that they're the same thing. Don't compare the UConn women's streak to the UCLA men's streak. The UConn women are exceptional at what they do, but if you want to compare them to a men's team have them play any NCAA men's team and see what happens. I bet they get absolutely crushed. So don't try to tell me that this is the most impressive college basketball team of all time because then you're belittling what it really means and turn it into some kind of joke where assholes like me write some opinion piece that no one reads. Also, women suck at basketball.
Bracketology:
If you've watched Sportscenter at any point this month you undoubtedly saw something about whether or not a team will qualify for the NCAA tournament. A fellow mmmmopinioner and I have disagreed about the value of these segments but this is my mmmmopinion and he is more than welcome to write his own. I don't like it. I don't need to know on February 16 whether or not Virginia Tech has done enough to qualify for the tournament because the season isn't over. Do you want to make the tournament? Win some more fucking games. No team has ever hurt their chances by winning a game. Besides, it changes every week depending on what you do that week so I just think it's fucking stupid. With that being said he correctly pointed out that it's a useful tool in comparing two teams because you can look at which team has a more impressive resume up to that point. I didn't think of that so I thank him for pointing it out. But here's why I hate it. This morning on Sportscenter Doug Gottlieb was giving his opinion on whether or not certain teams were in, if theoretically they released the brackets today. On the 9am version he had Illinois in the tournament. At 10am, he had them out of the tournament. WELL WHAT CHANGED DOUG? WHAT HAD ILLINOIS DONE IN AN HOUR TO WORK THEIR WAY OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT? Douchefuck.
Adding Gate to the end of every scandal:
It drives me absolutely batshit fucking crazy. It was called the Watergate scandal because it was the Watergate hotel complex. They didn't just add a random fucking word. What does Spygate mean? What's the gate in that? What does strippergate or hookergate or whatever they called it mean? What does Winegate have to do with a way to guard your property? Maybe it's the easiest way to refer to a scandal, but it makes me legitimately angry. I swear to god that if you use gate to refer to a scandal around me I will probably give you an angry look and use some language that will make your grandfather blush. It's probably on the Transformers 2 level of how much I hate it.
So that I don't die at age 26 from a heart attack/stress I'll again choose to end things on the lighter side. Today I was walking across campus between classes when I heard a fellow scholar utter the following sentence. Now be forewarned, I have absolutely no idea what this means or what context it could possibly be used in. But here goes: Excitedly talking to a group of friends she exclaimed, "But I'm just so super not-pregnant right now." I . . . just . . . don't even know.
-Slick
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