The Beer-hemoth IX

Apparently it's that time of the year again, by which I mean time for brewfests. Hooray! First up for 2012 is Brew Woo, which was in its second year. This was my first indoor brewfest, which was a good thing because it was pretty chilly out in Worcester. I assume that this is was the GABF is like, if you took this event and turned it up to 11.

There were somewhere between 30 and 40 breweries, which is variable based on what was listed on the program and what was actually there. Once we got carded and let in (where I was stamped rather vigorously by the girl with the blue stamper thing), we were given our tasting glass, a list of the breweries on a heavy-duty sheet, and a pencil for taking notes. I held on to my glass, but the sheet and the pencil quickly found their way into a nearby trash can. I don't have enough hands to hold a glass, hold a paper and write on it with a pencil. Looks like my phone is going to be in charge of keeping track of what's good and what's not.

Brew Woo is an unlimited event, which is nice since you don't have to worry about wasting a ticket on something sketchy, but not as nice for some people who don't know how to manage their drinks. I ended up trying 15 beers, 14 of which made it into my tummy and 1 of which made it into a garbage can. More on that later.

Let's get to the beer.

We didn't really follow the layout of the place (it was set up into 10 "pods" of 4 breweries each), but instead just ran off toward whatever seemed interesting from wherever we happened to be standing at the time. It actually turned out to be an effective strategy, and I feel like there weren't any breweries I missed because of our path.

First up was Woodstock Inn since it was the nearest to our entry point. I chose the Pemi Pale Ale, hoping that it was going to be an American pale ale. It was not, as it was an English pale ale. The main difference here is that American ones are nice and hoppy, and English ones are more mellow and easy to drink. This beer was fine, but nothing great.

I then saw a place called Baxter Brewing, which I had not heard of before and therefore needed to be visited. I went with their Stowaway IPA, and it was pretty good. It wasn't super hoppy though, which isn't my ideal IPA. It was, on the other hand, very drinkable, so I gave another of their beers a shot, the Pamola Xtra Pale Ale. As opposed to being anything I was expecting, this beer was very sweet, with a nice light flavor. I also got a free can koozie for Kate by telling them a "bad" joke that I stole from the infamous Greg Loesch. All in all, this station was a winner.

Did you know that Waltham, MA is known as "Watch City"? I did not, but I learned this factoid when we moved over to Watch City Brewing Co. to give their Fenway Fungo a try. This is a Scottish Wee Light, and therefore probably going to be a malty beast. As expected, this beer was super smokey, with a heavy mouthfeel and sort of a meaty maltiness to it. It worked well as a sipper, although most of the group disagreed with me.

Continuing our meandering, I hit upon Revival Brewing and went for their Double Black IPA. I found it be be a lot more "black" than "IPA," which was kind of disappointing.

When I turned around, Wormtown was directly behind me, and they had their Be Hoppy IPA, a beer that was on my list to try. I figured that this was as good a time as any, and I was immediately rewarded for my decision. This beer ended up winning my award for Best In Fest, as it had a delicious hoppiness without being too bitter. Since no one was waiting behind me, I got to talking to one of the servers and ended up trying their Turtle Boy Blue, a blueberry beer. It was delicious, with a nice blueberry flavor that didn't go too far and become cloying. Along with my newfound Thirsty Dog raspberry, 21st's Hell or High Watermelon, and maybe a little Sea Dog and Hooker, this is going to be a good summer for fruit beers.

Next on my list was Offshore's IPA. Apparently I got distracted by something, because all I wrote down was that this beer had a strong flavor. I'm not sure where I was going with that, so I guess I'll give myself minus points for this one. Sorry.

Nearby, I saw Sierra Nevada, and they had their Ruthless Rye IPA, a beer I've wanted to try for a while when I see it over at Ryan & Casey's, but for some reason I've never picked any up. Maybe I will next time I'm there, as this beer was very strong, very hoppy and nicely enjoyable.

At this point, we were past the halfway point for the session, which meant it was time for a snack. Kate and I both got delicious pulled pork sandwiches. It's not a brisket, but they were delightful.

I was excited to give the Whitewater IPA from Sam Adams a try, until I took a sip. It turns out that this is like some sort of weird combination of a white beer and an IPA, which meant mine got about 2 sips and then ended up in the trash. Goddam white ales...

In an attempt to scrub my palette, I went over to Wachusett and got a Black Shack Porter. This beer wasn't bad, but it didn't seem like a porter in any way. There were no smoked flavors, and the color was super thin. Maybe I got a different beer than what I asked for.

A brewery called Backlash caught my attention with their brass knuckle motif, but their beer varieties were distinctly foreign styles. Out of the two, I chose their Belgian-style IPA, Declaration. I don't really want to say anything good or bad about it, as this is just not my style of beer, but I will say that it was like a slightly bitter hefeweizen. If that sounds like your cup of tea (or pint of beer), then this one seemed like a good one, maybe?

The next place I hit surprised me, because I didn't realize that it was a brewery. I thought it was one of those little kiosks that are always at brewfests offering something else, in this case white-water rafting. Turns out that I was actually at the table for Kennebec River Brewing, so I went with their IPA. This was a nice IPA, with a good amount of hoppiness and bitterness without being too bitter.

It was getting close to the end of the session, but still had a couple spots that I felt needed to be hit. I was having a really hard time reading the choices over at Ithaca Brewing (the names of the beers were nice and large, but the styles were super tiny and behind the server), so I just went with their Apricot Wheat. This is a really apricotty beer, and very good if you don't mind a feeling like you're drinking soda.

We closed out the event with Koko Brown from Kona Brewing, which was only possible through Kate's guilting the girl serving the beer (who wasn't going to open another Koko Brown until the next session) by lamenting how it was so delicious and she wanted to make it her last beer. What a sucker! She opened one last bottle, and I tried some as well. It's a coconut brown ale, and it's quite nice to drink. I believe this one was Kate's Best in Fest winner.

This was a nice event, and one I would gladly attend again next year. Well done, Worcester.

-Jon

The Beer-hemoth VIII - Day 2

In case you were not aware of it, drinking in the sun is dangerous without the proper precautions. Kathryn might have taken things a bit too far with the SPF 70, but I guess I can't complain since I didn't get burned at all. We all drank plenty of water as well. And even with all that, we still ended up crashing in the hotel room after the session ended until we dragged ourselves out to dinner. I guess I'm getting old.

On the first day, we tried to focus on the tents from #11-#21, so tents 1 through 10 were on the docket for Day 2. Let's get drinking.

I kicked off the second session with the Edward Pale Ale from Hill Farmstead Brewery. This was a great smelling beer with a nice hoppy aroma and a good flavor. It also had a nice finish with a little bit of sweetness in there. It was a good was to start off the day.

Up next was Alchemist's Rapture. which was an IPA. It had a very intense flavor, but it was still good. I think this would be a sipping beer so as not to overwhelm the tastebuds.

Sticking with my hoppy pursuits, I grabbed the IPA from 7 Barrels Pub and Brewery. This beer wasn't as hoppy as it should have been, and was actually a little sweet, making it seem more like a pale ale than an IPA. It was super smooth, however, and tasted like it would be a good pair with a meal.

I finally mixed things up by getting a Lincoln Lager (hee hee, nice name!) from Bobcat. I didn't check, but I'm assuming no actual bobcats were injured during the brewing of this beer. This was a good beer, but it was kind of boring. Moving on...

Continuing my habit of selecting beers based on their names, I tried the Rauch Session beer from Trapp Lagers. Since it was a session beer, the ABV was probably low, but so was the beer flavor. This "beer" actually tasted more like a soda. I could see myself drinking one again if it was in a mixpack.

Since I had enjoyed it last year, I went with Otter Creek Stovepipe Porter for my next beer. It was a very dark beer, but it wasn't as roasted as I thought I remembered it being. Maybe I just got a bad one, or maybe I wasn't remembering it accurately. Or maybe a brewfest in 80+ degree weather just isn't the right place for a porter. I'll have to try it for a third time under more favorable porter circumstances.

Wolaver's was right next to OC (as you'd probably expect considering their relationship), so I snagged their Oatmeal Stout while I was in the tent. At first this beer was super bitter, but it had all the roasted flavors I was expecting from the Stovepipe Porter. Given a few minutes to mellow out, the bitterness fades away and this beer turns quite delicious.

Harpoon was offering one of their 100 Barrel Series beers, so I made Rich and Dan's Rye IPA my next choice. It has a great IPA aroma, but I think it needs a little bit more malt to balance out the sort of intense bitterness.

At this point, it was time to cleanse the palette, so I went to an old favorite, Long Trail Blackbeary Wheat. There's not a whole lot to say here that hasn't already been said, which means I won't say anything more.

I continued my being nostalgic with a Lost Sailor from BBC. That would be Berkshire Brewing Company, not one of the many other BBCs. This was a good beer that I'm very comfortable with, so I enjoyed it.

I then got a little wacky and got the Strato from Benelux, which I think is a Canadian brewery. This was deemed a "west coast style stout," but I just found it weird. It was only a little bitter, but there was something odd about it. I ended up having to let the grass have it because I didn't drink it in time before the heat ruined it completely.

I finished my afternoon with the Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale from Stone. I never give Stone enough credit, and that's because the first beer I had from them was the Oaked Arrogant Bastard, which I didn't really like. I could go off on a wild tangent here about my feelings on barrel-aging beer, but this isn't really the venue. The short version is that Stone makes delicious beer, and this ale was no exception. I think it may be a black IPA, because it was dark and hoppy and very enjoyable. There was one weird flavor note I couldn't quite pick out, but it didn't ruin anything. Definitely worth the extra ticket (its ABV was over 8.1%, so it was 2 tickets).

Somewhere I lost a ticket, and I gave my last one away, so that concluded the day's beers. Kate and I decided that of the 3 sessions, Friday night is the best, followed by Saturday afternoon with Saturday evening picking up the rear. I hope we are able to do it all again next year!

-Jon

The Beer-hemoth VIII - Day 1

Yeah, so this thing was getting absurdly long when I was writing it, so it needed to be split up into 2 posts. That's becoming a thing here. Sort of like Slick not posting. Zing! I haven't really posted much either, but that's an issue that will be taken care of in the near future. Seriously. I'm already writing more posts in my brain.

Ok, let's get focused. On beer!

The Vermont Brewers Festival is pretty crazy, as I detailed last year. This year we decided to attend the first and second sessions (Friday night and Saturday afternoon). I liked both of these better than the Saturday night session, especially since neither were threatened by thunderstorms. Instead of going to the third session, we went out to dinner at an awesome restaurant and ate 15,000 calories of food. It was a very healthy weekend overall.

And now for the Friday night beers.

You probably don't remember (unless you just reread The Beer-hemoth 3), but last year I really wanted to try the Espresso Amber Ale from Peak Organic, but I missed out because the session got shut down early. I took no chances this year, and kicked things off with one. It has a good coffee flavor, but the aroma seems a little artificial, which is weird considering that Peak is a fully organic brewer. The coffee flavor in an ale is a nice change from coffee stouts. It was a little bit sweet, so I don't think I could drink too many in one day.

I moved on to Allagash from there and tried their Black, which was a Belgian-style stout. This beer smelled very sweet and not like the standard stouts. While I wasn't a huge fan of the flavor, it was very light and easy drinking. It would be a good cookout beer I think.

Next up was Defiant's Medusa IPA. This was an odd beer that didn't smell or taste very hoppy. It actually had a kind of weird flavor and a very heavy feeling aftertaste. I was not really feeling it.

After having three different styles of beers, I decided to keep mixing things up and went with a traditional stout, the Oatmeal Stout from Trout River. This was a dark brown beer instead of being black, and it's flavor also wasn't quite as stout as I was expecting. After every sip, I kept thinking "I gotta have more stout! Or more cowbell! But preferably stout." It was a very smooth beer, and it mellowed out nicely, becoming quite good at the end of the glass.

The fifth beer of the day was another IPA, the Ginga' Ninja from Portsmouth. I am not 100% on this, but I believe the Ginga' part of the name is pronounced like "ginger" but in Boston, making the name rhyme. This was a nice looking IPA with a good hoppiness and flavor. The ginger was a nice complement here, adding to the flavor without being annoying.

Since the ginger worked well in the beer, I thought I'd give the Black Pepper Porter a try. This beer was from Vermont Brewing Company, and it was a weird one. I couldn't pick out any pepper in the aroma or in the flavor, but the beer just tasted odd. But not bad. I think that if it was included in a mix-pack, you wouldn't mind it.

After trying some IPAs and some black pepper, the next logical step was a black IPA. I went with Dark Day from Wormtown, which was hands down the worst named brewery there. Fortunately, they had a delicious beer. Great hop aroma, good hop flavor and malty balance, and a good bitter IPA finish. My only issue with it was that the aftertaste hangs out a little too long, feeling sort of sticky.

I should really take the opportunity at these things to try new styles of beer, but I guess I know what I like, and what I like is stouts and IPAs, so that's what I gravitate toward. For example, the Shed Stout, which wasn't very stoutlike at first, but turned out nicely after I allowed it to warm up a bit.

From stout to IPA, I tried the Flying Goose Strong Ale, which was fantastic. If this had been a dog show instead of a brewfest, this beer would win Best in Show. It had a perfect combination of citrusy hops and sweet maltiness. I need to find some of these to keep in the fridge. I hope I can get them in Keene, since Flying Goose is a NH brewery.

I supposed I could mix a pale ale in there as well, so I opted for the Pale Ale from Tullycross. I think it had a special name, but I forgot to mark it down and I didn't feel like going back. All I wrote down for this beer was that it was super smooth, so I guess it wasn't especially memorable. I went back for another Strong Ale from Flying Goose after this one because it was just that good.

Based strictly on its name, I tried the Ubu Ale from Lake Placid next. This was just not my kind of beer, so let's move on.

At this point, it was 8:47 pm and Melissa saw a pregnant woman drinking beer, making her the winner of the "Find An Irresponsible Parent" game and earning her the respect and admiration of her peers. Then we all mocked that woman's (lack of) parenting skills.

After all that mocking, it was time for another beer. I chose Jasper Murdock's 90 Schilling Pale Ale, which ended up being a mistake. This beer had too much sweetness and not enough hops for my palette, and had the unfortunate result of "accidentally" getting spilled.

To cleanse the sweetness off my poor tongue, I tried Zero Gravity's Anniversary Ale. This beer was a little hoppy and a lot bitter, and had a nice flavor for its low ABV.

Down to my last ticket, I decided to cap the evening with a guaranteed winner, so it was back to Peak Organic for another Espresso Amber. Alas, much like a year ago, it was not to be as they had run out. I went with their IPA instead. I didn't pay too much attention to it because I was so sad about the beer I wanted being gone. It was an ok beer, but probably not the greatest way to end the night.

Stay tuned for Day 2, which in theory will be posted tomorrow.

-Jon

The Beer-hemoth VII

I need to start putting subtitles on these things. This one would be something like "Invasion of the IPAs" if I did, because I had a whole bunch of them. Pale ales too. There was a distinct shortage of stouts at this one.

Kate and I went to the Green River Brew Festival, held at Ryan & Casey Liquors. And we were two of the first... hundred people or something, so we each got a fancy glass when we left. Getting stuff is great! I actually took some notes this time since it wasn't raining. Hopefully this will be a more enjoyable beer-reading experience for you than the last one.

You might notice that I haven't had anything new at Mmmm, beers! lately. I've been busy wrapping up a few 6-packs that I tried before, and I did try 2 new beers, but they were only in bottles and I feel like the writeups would be sub-par. Don't worry, I will be back in beer-tasting mode very soon.

Tent 1

This tent had the most beers to try in it, and this is where we started. I kicked things off with the Mojo IPA from the Boulder Beer Company. But I ordered it with a soft "j" to mess with the guy serving it. This beer had a good aroma, but the taste was only ok. I might get it again, if it's not too expensive.

Next up was Trout Hop Black IPA from Grand Teton Brewing Company. This beer had a strange aroma, and it wasn't that great. I would probably not get this again.

Sticking with this theme, I had Rogue's Brutal IPA for my next beer. This one had a good aroma, but it was very faint. The flavor was very good though, so I would probably drink this again.

Moving on, I finally switched things up, but only slightly. My next brew was Peak Organic's Pale Ale. This beer didn't have much of an aroma, and the flavor was very mellow after those IPAs. I think it would be good to drink with a meal, as it wouldn't overpower any of the food's flavors. I might drink this again.

The next beer was the Pub Style from Gritty McDuff. Gritty McDuff sounds like it should be a character on The Simpsons. This beer was pretty much the same as the last one, so you can just reread that little paragraph.

The last beer of the first tent was Southern Tier's 2XIPA. Southern Tier has set a pretty high bar with their other beers, and this one did not disappoint. It had a pretty good aroma, but the flavor was great! I would definitely buy this beer.

Part of the price of admission includes a ticket for $2 off any food item. Kate and I both used ours to get a $2 slice of pizza from Antonio's. Net cost for lunch? $0!!

Tent 2

The second tent wasn't nearly as packed with beers as the first, and the first brewer in there was Harpoon, which only had beers that I've already had. So that cuts the beer choices down even further.

I kicked off tent #2 with Sierra Nevada's Pale Ale. I remember having this beer a long time ago and not liking it, but that was before my enlightenment about the deliciousness of hops. This beer had a pretty weak aroma, but it had a good flavor. I would probably get this beer again, but it's not quite as good as their Tornado.

The next beer was Goose Island IPA. This IPA had a good aroma and a good flavor, so I would definitely get some more of it. At this point, I'm 8 for 8 in pale ales or India pale ales. It's been a pretty hoppy day.

I finally broke out of my pale ale streak by drinking a Longboard Lager from Kona Brewing Company. I might have tried this at some point, but I don't remember. This beer's aroma and flavor were both ok, but it was very easy drinking so I might give it another try some time.

I wrapped up the second tent with the Haver Ale from Haverhill Brewery. This was their cream ale, and the flavor matched up with that description very well. The aroma was ok, so I might get this again when I want to switch things up some day.

Tent 3

I was very disappointed with tent 3. Well not really, but I was a little sad that Victory was supposed to be in this tent but did not come to the brewfest. I was also sad that the first beer I saw in the tent was Narragansett. It brought back painful memories of failing at Trivia Night, and it also made my taste buds sad. Luckily there was some good stuff happening to offset this.

After the initial shock of terrible beer, the next table had Long Trail and Otter Creek. Since Long Trail doesn't make anything that I haven't already had, I went with OC's Black IPA. This beer had a great aroma and a great flavor, so I am definitely going to grab some more at some point. For some reason, I got the impression that this beer has to be very cold to be delicious.

Next up was the beer from Stone Brewing Company. Having possible the only stout available, I felt compelled to drink their Imperial Russian Stout. It had a good stout aroma, and it tasted delicious. I will definitely grab a 22-oz of this if the price isn't as ridiculous as some of Stone's bottles are. If the price is super high, I will just complain a little and be forced to grab something else.

I also decided to try their Ruination IPA because it was recommended to me by someone. Possibly by the internet. And I figure that since we're eventually going to be taken over by robots, I might as well get used to taking their orders. This beer had a great aroma, and it was very good. I'll be drinking this one again.

Tent 4

This felt like the smallest tent, and the table right in the middle didn't help matters. Kate and I skipped right over Brooklyn and Blue Moon and headed for High and Mighty. I decided to try the Purity of Essence. The aroma was ok, but the taste was pretty good and might make this a beer to look out for in the future.

Next was Lagunitas IPA. This beer probably had the best aroma of all the beers I tried today. However, the first taste impression wasn't great. After I let it mellow out for a couple minutes, it turned into a completely different beer, and it was very good. I think I will try this again at some point to see what I think of a whole bottle.

The tent concluded with a beer from Cisco Brewers called Whale's Tale Pale Ale, and yes, I only got it because of the rhyming name. The aroma here was ok, and the flavor was good. This was another super-smooth drinking beer, so I might get it again.

We went back to the first tent because there was something Kate wanted to try, so I had one last beer. It was the Theobroma from Dogfish Head. Ok, this beer just smelt terrible. I bravely ignored my nose and gave it a try, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was pretty good, with a strong blast of chocolate in there. Overall, it was very weird. I might try this again, but I don't think I'd pay for it.

So, I got to try 17 new beers, none of which were bad. I also got a free slice of pizza and a pilsner glass. And the place was only about a mile from Kate's house. I would say that this was a successful day.

-Jon

The Beer-hemoth VI

Yup, the Beer-hemoth is back, and has now been upgraded with Roman numerals. They're so much fancier than those Arabic ones.

This will be my most poorly written Beer-hemoth yet, for a multitude of reasons. Most importantly, it was raining, so I couldn't take notes on my phone without risking water damage. And I don't think that is covered by the insurance. In addition, I forgot 2 of the beers that I tried, and I can't find them in the little brewfest booklet. You don't have to be ashamed of me; I am ashamed enough for the both of us. Finally, the event was several days ago, so this should have been done on Sunday. Er, I mean, of course I wrote this on Sunday. Just look at the date up there!

This past Saturday (um, I mean yesterday) was the 2nd annual Brattleboro Brewers Festival, so Kate and I took a trip up there after my track meet. You might recall that the original Beer-hemoth was inspired by last year's BBF. You can go back and read that one to remind yourself how awesome I used to be.

I know what you're all wondering, and the answer is no, I did not see any pregnant women drinking at this brewfest. Yes, I'm as shocked as you are.

And now for the beers! At the BBF, you get 8 tickets, but I managed to try 9 beers. One guy was pretty cool and didn't really care about the whole ticket policy. Thanks, Bro Montana! Unlike the other Beer-hemoths, these ones are not presented in order of consumption. Deal with it. I also didn't spend any of my tickets on beers that are easily acquired in Greenfield, so there won't be anything from BBC, People's Pint, Element, etc. I'll just buy the beer straight from them if I want it.

We'll start off, ironically, with the beer I finished the festival drinking: South Mountain Stout from Bobcat Brewery. You are going to notice a theme of stouts. I did not have a chance to ask the brewers if they used actual bobcats in their brewing process, but this beer did not taste like it. This was a pretty good beer, and since it wasn't an imperial stout, it was a nice change from all the stouts I've been drinking lately. It was a good beer to finish the day on. You never want your last beer to be a dud.

Another good stout was McNeill's Brewery's Reagin's Stout. This beer was the beer I had 2 beers before the previously mentioned beer, even though I am discussing it after that beer. That last sentence makes my head ache. I enjoyed this beer more than, say, McNeill's Dark Angel, which was good but a little hoppy for a stout. Reagin's Stout is a lot mellower and easy to drink.

In between those beers, I drank Northshire Chocolate Stout from Northshire Brewery. Surprisingly, I didn't really enjoy it. How can a beer with chocolate go wrong? I just don't get it.

During one of the periodic downpours, we found ourselves at the booth for The Shed, a brewpub and restaurant. I decided to have their Sanity IPA, which was an excellent choice. It was nice and hoppy, but not overly dry or bitter. Mmmm!

One of the places I had to try a beer from was Trout River Brewing Company. That is an amusing name, and made me think of Chloe. I decided to go with the Knightslayer Imperial Stout, strictly based on the Knightslayer part. Hey, I've got a weakness for all that medieval stuff. At a hefty 10.5% ABV, you'd think this beer would be a major kick in the tongue, but it wasn't at all. It was super smooth, like drinking velvet. Good flavor as well. It took me a long time to finish though, because it really felt like a huge event for each sip.

Victory Brewing Company had their dog with them, so I wanted to try a beer from them. Just kidding. Not about the dog, but about the dog being the reason I wanted one of their beers. I really wanted one because the Headwaters Pale Ale sounded delicious. And it was! I am absolutely getting a bottle of this next time I'm at either Ryan & Casey or at Table & Vine. If you like pale ale at all, try this one. You will be happy you did. Or you can give it to me. Win-win!

And finally, we get to the only beer I tried but did not finish. I have bad memories of Woodstock Inn Brewery's Kane Country Maple Porter. This is a porter beer brewed with real maple syrup. And for me, that just resulted in a sickly sweet flavor that I simply did not enjoy.

There were 2 other beers I tried, but I can't find them in this pamphlet. I am almost positive one of them was a porter, and I have no idea about the other one. Sorry about that! But overall, I would say that the beers I chose made a good showing, and it was good for Kate to get out of her house for a while. I think those pugs are starting to drive her crazy.

-Jon

The Beer-hemoth 5

I should have titled these things with Roman numerals. That would have made them seem much classier. Like the Rocky movies.

In what may be the final brewfest of the year, we went to the 2010 Wine & Brew Harvest Festival sponsored by Ryan and Casey Liquors in Greenfield. As the name suggests, this one had lots of wine to sample in addition to the standard beer offerings. I tried exactly 0 wines, because that's not how I roll. Maybe you can jump on the Mmmm, [nouns] bandwagon and start up Mmmm, wines. We'll even cut you in on the profits, to the tune of 5%.

The samples at this particular fest were 2-oz, which means I tried a whole lot of them. Settle down for a long read, because we're going to be here for a while. Once again, I chose to use the same system as last time, which is an absurd method using ok, good, and great along with exclamation points to capture my initial reaction to each beer. It's not the greatest system, but it is easy to use on my phone so I'm keeping it. I can't be writing well thought-out synopses of everything when I'm walking around in crowds. Sorry.

And away we go!

I started off with an old favorite, Shipyard Pumpkinhead, because I wanted to get off on the right foot. This beer is "Great," but some people (like silly Melissa) think it's too sweet. But then she goes and likes the banana bread beer, which is like pure sugar. Silly women. I find that pumpkin beers fit into two categories: pumpkiny, and pumpkin pie-y. This one is in the pie-y category, so drink accordingly.

I went across the tent (this fest had 4 small tents on the outside and then little stands in the center) and got Ommegang Abbey Ale. This beer is a Belgian non-white ale, so it wasn't immediately banned from my consumption. I found this beer to be "Good!" I would enjoy a couple in the future.

The next table had a couple interesting beers, and I tried the Pumpkin Ale by Dogfish Head (a brand that I am pretty sure is named after Chloe). This one is in the pumpkiny category, and it was "Good." I think there are a lot of other pumpkin ales that do it better though.

Moving on, I tried a beer that Bill and Melissa both recommended, Hooker Octoberfest. This is a quality Oktoberfest beer, which I thought was "Good!!" Bill also thought it was funny to call the beer "Melissa's beer," which I'm sure he will pay for later.

The next beer was one I had to try based strictly on name alone. It was called Merlin's Ale and came from Broughton Ales. I should have read more carefully and not just tried it because it had a wizard on the bottle, because I thought it was only "Ok." To be fair though, I am not generally a fan of scotch ales, so you might have a different opinion of it. Also, it's about 18 times better than Sam Adams Scotch Ale.

Alright, so that was a low point. Luckily I found Coopers Best Extra Stout at the same table, and that stuff was much better. I would classify it as "Great!" and that's a high rating. Stout seems to be the current title holder for the classification of "Favorite Type of Beer." Go stout!

After that, it was time to leave that tent and try some new places. I tried Watermelon Wheat from Blue Hills Brewery next, and it was a good choice. This was another "Great" beer, but the watermelon flavor was very strong. If you like watermelon but don't love it, you might want to pass on this one.

Next to Blue Hills, I found the Harvest Kölsch, a special brew from BBC that is only available on draft in special locations for a limited time. This is an unfortunate situation, because this was a "Good!!!" beer, and that means I probably won't get to have it again any time soon. Stupid special beers.

We then went over to the Sam Adams table where they had two new styles of beers that people could vote on for their next beer release. One of them was something stupid and Belgian, so I skipped it. The other was American Rye Ale, which was "Good!" I'll probably drink some of them when/if it gets released.

Wachusett Green Monsta Ale was up next on the docket. I guessed from the fact that the bottle was green and hops are green that this was going to be a pale ale. And it was! Maybe I know more about beer than I thought. Not too shabby for a pale ale; I gave this one a "Good!" rating.

As I was drinking the Monsta, I saw a sign that said Fogbuster and became quite excited. You might have read before that this beer from Paper City was "Great!!" last time I had it. Well, it still is. I am going to track this stuff down somewhere and buy a ton to gear up for a long winter. I'll have to get a second beer fridge just to handle it all.

At this point, we called an intermission and got some food. I had a pulled pork sandwich, which was ok but not swimming in BBQ sauce. The pork should be soaked in that stuff! Who's in charge of these things? This should be a law.

And back to the beer. The first beer of the second half was Lefty's Irish Style Stout. "Great" beer, silly name. I don't like the word "style" included in the name of a beer because it makes me thing they're trying to put one over on me. "It's not really Irish, but it's Irish style." Ok, now I'm suspicious. What kinds of shenanigans are you trying to pull here, Lefty's?

I then found that Long Trail has a new (to me) beer called Harvest. I didn't like it very much. I rated it as "Ok..." which I think means that it was barely ok, but I don't know what is below Ok on the meter. Basically, pass on this one and drink something else that they make.

Alright, let's get past that disappointing beer and try something else. Perhaps this Octoberfest from Harpoon will do the trick. Or perhaps not. This beer was also only "Ok," but without the ellipsis afterwards. That means that it was better than the Harvest beer before it, but still not one I would drink frequently.

I decided to get a little wacky and try Banana Bread Beer from Wells. This beer is way too sweet. I love pretty much anything with sugar or chocolate or candy, and even for me this was too sweet. I didn't even give it a normal rating; all it says here is "Way too sweet." So there you go.

Alright, we're on a bit of an off streak right now, so I guess it's time for a new tent. The next beer up was Red Racer Craft Lager, which comes in a can that Kathryn thought was cool. The beer itself was "Good," but that's all.

Needing to turn things around, I went with Opa Opa's Oktoberfest for my next choice. Now, even though they have apparently no skill in correctly cooking a steak or in customer service, they have the beer thing working. This beer was "Good!!!" which means we are back on track.

Although that last beer seemed to turn things around, I was wary of trying something else that wasn't good. That meant that I needed to go with a known quantity, such as Magic Hat. I chose their Hi.P.A. because it has to be good, right? Even better: this beer was "Good!!!" Super hoppy too. You should probably be expecting that though, from the name.

Moving on, I saw that Peak Organic was here, so I was hoping that they'd have that coffee beer I wanted to try up in Burlington. They did not, so instead I tried their IPA. It was a decent substitute, and it was "Good!!" And it was organic, so that's also good. I guess.

Next up was Coopers Pale Ale. This beer was "Not Great." Let's move on.

Goose Island Harvest Ale was the next beer I had. I think it might just be their Honkers Ale in a new bottle, because it tasted a lot like it. That's not a bad thing though, because I enjoy that beer and I enjoyed this one, which was "Good!!!"

The last two beers I had were both from Kona, so they can both go here. The first was the Longboard Island Lager. It was "Good!!," but it wasn't nearly as good as the Fire Rock Pale Ale. That second one was "Great," and it was a nice way to end the day.

Overall, this one seemed like a better festival than the last one, but I had better beers last time. Either way, I'll probably go to both of them next year. These things are great!

-Jon

The Beer-hemoth 4

You would think that this post might belong over at Mmmm, Beers, but those posts are slightly more thought out, which means that I would have to use a more thought-out system of recording my opinions than my exclamation point based system. I only wrote myself a quick note on whether or not I liked the beer, so you are going to have to rely on my memory for a decent review here. And also, I can't move the Beer-hemoths now that they have established a position here. So from now on, the multi-beer posts will be here and the individual beers will be over there. Glad everyone's on the same page.

Today was the Connecticut River Brewfest, which was very much NOT in Connecticut. I was confused by this, but it would seem that most other people weren't, so I guess it's ok. I understand that the CT River runs through a lot of Massachusetts, but it still seems like a weird name. Hey whatever, it was a good time.

Now for a short synopsis of all the beers I tried tonight. Sadly, I will let you know now that we did not see any pregnant ladies, so I will not be able to rip on bad parents. I know, I'm sad too. We'll get through it together.

Goose Island Honker's Ale was the first beer of the afternoon because it was the closest beer to the entrance. I tried this for the first time last week at the Crosby, Stills & Nash concert, and I was pleasantly surprised. It's a good one, and received a rating of "Good!"

Next up was Milk Stout from Left Hand Brewery. Although it shames me, I have to admit that I have never heard of a milk stout before. I am glad that I've rectified that though, because it was delicious! I am a fan of stouts anyway, so I was probably biased toward this one. Anyway, it got a score of "Good!!!"

I followed up my new discovery with the Extra Special Bitter from McNeill's. Kathryn and I tried to go to that brewery once a couple weeks ago, but apparently they open at weird times on Saturday and were closed at that specific juncture. Bastards. This beer was pretty hoppy, and I don't have anything bad to say about it. I would say that it was "Good."

Keeping up the trend of a different kind of beer with each station, I went with Old Brown Dog from Smuttynose. It was a good brown ale, nice and sweet. I don't know if it would be a beer that I would drink exclusively for several rounds, but a couple are fine with me. I deem this beer to be "Good!"

Now it's time for the awards of the day. Somehow, they both go to the same brewery, Paper City. The next beer I tried was their Oktoberfest, which earns the dubious distinction of being my "Most Disappointing Beer of the Day." It only received a rating of "Ok." However, they redeemed themselves by winning "Best in Show" with their Fogbuster, which is an imperial coffee stout. Fantastic beer. I would drink them until I fell down, given the opportunity. I give this a review of "Great!!" That's pretty high.

At this point, we took a halftime break for Kathryn to get a pretzel and me to steal a piece of it. It was ok, but the mustard was great. And back to beer!

I kicked off the second half with High & Mighty's XPA. This beer was an extra pale ale, and boy was it pale. I liked it a lot, and will be looking for it next time I'm at Table & Vine. This beer is on the fence between "Good!!!" and "Great," which means that it comes highly recommended.

Next door to High & Mighty was my new local favorite, Element. Kathryn and I had a nice conversation with the wife of one of the brewer's, so hopefully they will remember us next time we stop by. I drank their Dark Element, which I formerly reviewed under its original title of Dark Matter. It's still equally delightful, and was probably the second best beer there, scoring a "Great!" rating.

On the recommendation of Kathryn's friend's friend Marco, I picked the Black Dog IPA from the Amherst Brewing Company as my next beer. I am not normally a fan of IPAs, but this one was completely different from every other one that I've tried. It was more like a dark beer that they just hopped the hell out of to make it IPA-like. And it was delightful! I liked it a lot, and would say that it was "Good!!"

Heading down the final stretch, I tried Bailey's Blonde from Cisco. It wasn't great, but it wasn't anything to complain about. It just sort of was. My rating was "Good!" but I really don't remember much about it.

And for the final beer of the day, I got Geary's Autumn Ale. Meh. Kind of a low note to go out on, as it was only "Good." At least my day wasn't nearly as disappointing as Kathryn's and Bill's, as they had several crummy beers that they hated, some so much that they even had to dump them. That's bad. I feel like I won the day, had it been a contest.

Now for my random story! I met Dan and Kim from Mix 93.1!! Those two have been waking me up for work for the past 5 years. That is crazy! Yeah, I am easily impressed.

-Jon

The Sam Adams Harvest Mix Pack

Now normally Jon, aka "Slappy Bag", handles the beer posts. In fact, we've finally launched one of these gimmick spinoff websites. Head on over to MMMMbeers if you want to see his take on some adult beverages. However, since I'm not a contributor, you'll have to stay here if you want to see Big Slick spit some hot fire. Although if it follows my typical pattern I'll just make some completely unrelated comments before rambling through an opinion, leaving you no better informed than before. Boom, that's they way the Slick Dog rolls.

Alright, so the Harvest Mix Pack, previously mentioned in the Pumpkin Beer Breakdown, consists of Sam Adam's Harvest Pumpkin Ale, Octoberfest, Black Lager, Boston Lager, Irish Red, and a Slappy Bag favorite, Dunkelweizen. I really don't have anything useful to say about any of these beers so I'm going to throw some snap judgments at you. Octoberfest: awesome. Harvest Pumpkin Ale: also awesome. Boston Lager: a classic but go to mmmmbeers and see what SB had to say. Black Lager and Irish Red: both above average showings. Dunkelweizen: ummm this beer confuses me. Whenever I drink a new beer, I like to read the description at the top so that I'm better educated about what will be coming out of me later that evening (You can really taste all the hops!!!!) and also I like to sniff my beer because, well I'm sort of a freak. I'm guessing it's a delayed reaction to my parent's divorce. This beer smells fruity and checking the description, apparently it's supposed to taste like tropical fruits. Well, that just sounds delightful. Then I drank it and I thought, "I don't know why Jon doesn't like this, I think it's pretty good. It tastes like fruit; it's quite pleasant." True story, although I was talking to myself so no one can verify it happened. Then I kept drinking and the fruit flavor disappeared to be replaced by something not good. Why is my beer changing flavors? It's baffling. I really don't need a wide array of tastes and aromas, I just want my beer to taste good. There's 3 left in our fridge and since Slappy says they taste like feet, I'll probably have to drink those. Kind of like that time I was tricked into drinking a Scotch Ale but this won't be nearly as disgusting. I sort of like it but I'd rather drink the other 5 varieties first. I give this pack a 5.25 out of 6. I would certainly purchase it again.

You have no idea how many times I typed beef instead of beer in that post.

-Slick

P.S. I've yelled at you before but you doucheknuckles need to start leaving more comments. I don't care if it's "Slick, your writing sucks. You're not funny and your mother loves Jon more than you." Write something.

Pumpkin Beer Breakdown

Warning - this post is going to be extremely long. I get super excited when I'm writing about beer and tend to be long-winded. Don't say I didn't tell you ahead of time.

Now that fall has rolled around*, it's time for one of the most exciting beer-related events of the year: pumpkin beers! If you don't like pumpkin beers, you will probably not enjoy the following post, so you may want to move on. There may be funny stuff though, so you'll miss out on that. Eh, just read it. It's not like you have anything better to do.

I may be wrong (which happens with alarming frequency), but it seems like there are more and more pumpkin beers every year. In an effort to educate the masses, and also to keep you from having crappy pumpkin beer in your fridge if I am at your house, I have taken it upon myself to try as many of these beers as I can. I realize that this may be a hardship for my liver, but my readers are worth it. You can thank me later. With beer.

And now, in no particular order, here are your pumpkin contenders. I like making up ridiculous rating systems, so each beer will be rated based on the number of 12-oz bottles I think I could drink consecutively of each variety before I throw up, pass out or just plain get sick of them.

Samuel Adams Harvest Pumpkin Ale

Well, this one is news to me. I didn't realize that Sam Adams even had a pumpkin variety. Probably because this is the first year, so I can't be blamed for my ignorance. I am not sure that it's even in its own pack yet, because I've only gotten it in their Harvest Mix-Pack. Side note - why do the Sam Adams mix-packs always have either one or two garbage beers in them? Like the Harvest mix-pack. What is Dunkelweizen doing in there? It tastes like feet!! Ok, side note over.

I was pleasantly surprised by this beer. It has a super pumpkiny smell (there needs to be an adjective for that, so "pumpkiny" is the one I'll be using), but it's not overpoweringly pumpkiny tasting. I actually let it warm up a little, and that made it taste a little better. There's probably a beer-related explanation for that, but you aren't going to get it here. Maybe when Mmmm, Beer launches I'll go into more detail about the beers. Anyway, if you're making your first foray into pumpkin beers, this is not a bad starting point. Beer rating: 7. Let's get a little silly, but then we should probably change over to something else.

Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin

This is a special beer from Shipyard that comes in a fancy bottle with some guy's signature on it. It might be a seasonal beer, but I'm not sure because Kathryn got me a bottle of it about a month ago. Is that even pumpkin season? Do pumpkins grow in Maine? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Smashed Pumpkin has a very different pumpkin flavor. It tastes more sweet, like a pumpkin pie. Be careful though, because this stuff is like 9.0% ABV, which is enough to kick your ass if you aren't paying attention. I would call this beer a dessert beer, although I'm sure that means something completely different in beer-snob circles. If you aren't into sweet beers, you probably aren't going to like this one. I still think it's worth a taste though. Maybe you'll find it's right up your alley. How am I supposed to know? Oh, PS - this beer seems to only come in 22-oz bottles. I am still giving my rating in 12-oz bottles. Beer rating: 3. The sweetness is a bit cloying. Maybe we'll finish the night off with some of this, but we aren't drinking it all night.

Blue Moon Harvest Moon

You being serious right now? Haven't I made my opinion on Blue Moon quite clear at this point? Fine, let's do this again. If you drink this beer, I hate you. If you have this beer at your house and invite me over, I'm going to show up, see it, then leave. If you bring this beer to my house, you're not coming in. You can go sit in your car and wait for me to dump out one of your beers and throw the bottle at your windshield. Don't disrespect my house like that. Beer rating: 0. I'd rather be sober than drink this piss.

Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale

This beer is a dirty liar. When you pop the top and take a sniff, it smells delightfully pumpkiny. Then you take a sip, and it's like getting punched in the ear. What happened to all that pumpkiny goodness!? It's gone, and all that's left is a flavor like crappy Bud Light with a hint of pumpkin. You betrayed me, Jack.

I suppose that if I had been more careful, I would not have been surprised since this beer comes from Anheuser-Busch. I really have to lower my expectations for their silliness. Beer rating: 1. I would drink one just so I can appreciate other, good beers more. Then I'd try to trick other people into drinking the rest.

Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale

Now we're talking. For sheer amount of pumpkiny taste, this is the beer to get. It has come to my attention that the pumpkin flavor in this beer is artificially done, but I don't really care. If you're a beer purist, then that might concern you, but my guess is that you're the type of person who gets wasted on Bud Light a couple times a year and couldn't care less about quality.

I love this beer. The first day it comes out in package stores every year is like a mini-Christmas for me. And when it's gone from stores every year, it feels like. . . I don't know, some crappy holiday. Flag Day maybe? However, the first day it's gone, my liver celebrates like it's Independence Day, throwing off the oppressive shackles of the previous two months' workload. Kathryn told me that she just picked up a 12-pack yesterday, which means that I'm definitely getting at least 7 of those. Even just writing that down makes me smile. Beer rating: 12, based on my current tolerance. The real rating is however many beers I'm currently able to drink.

Buffalo Bill's Pumpkin Ale

Oh boy, this beer has an exciting name! A funny name will always trump a boring one if I'm undecided about what to buy. If you ever open a brewery, you should consult me before you start naming your beers. Actually, you should let me work for you. Working in a brewery would probably be awesome. And if it sucked, at least I could get drunk at work, which would make it more tolerable.

This beer blows. Sadly, a neat name can't make up for low quality beer. I can't tell what is not great about it, but it's just not that good. It doesn't smell as pumpkiny as the others, and it doesn't taste very pumpkiny at all. I feel like those are important qualities for a pumpkin beer to have. Now I have to figure out a way to get other people to drink the rest of these. Haha, just kidding. . . . Beer rating: 2. I would drink a second one just to figure out what's going on here.

Post Road Pumpkin Ale

This beer is actually from Brooklyn Brewery, but they keep that on the DL, just like the big American companies do with their fake micro-brews. I don't really get it in this case, since Brooklyn Brewery is pretty much a micro-brewery as is, but hey, whatever.

This has to be the most carbonated of all the pumpkin beers I've had, although I have one more to try. I just don't want to have to come back and edit this section, so I'm being lazy. It's also a lot hoppier than the other ones. That second thing is going to be hit or miss with everyone since everyone has their own feelings on how hoppy beer should be. It doesn't bother me though. I think I would actually like this beer more if it wasn't a pumpkin beer. There's a slight pumpkin aroma, but it's just barely there. It's got a nice pumpkiny aftertaste though, which I feel is more important than the smell. Beer rating: 5. I'll start drinking, and then you can come over and we'll drink the last 2 beers together.

Southampton Publick House Pumpkin Ale

Why is there a "k" up there? That's ridiculous. Maybe I'll start throwing extra letters into words just to make things silly. You're already starting in the hole here, SPHPA.

This is another beer with a light pumpkin smell. It has a stronger pumpkin taste than expected though, with a hint of something else that I can't quite put my finger on. Cinnamon? Nutmeg? Marjoram? Seriously, what is marjoram? I might get some and start throwing it into my cooking just to solve this mystery. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there. Those spices are tricky little bastards. Anyway, this is a pretty good beer. I think you should try it. Also, the beer rating on this one is fixed based on previous ratings. I really need to stop using rating systems. Beer rating: 6. I would drink more of these than the last one, but not as many as that Sam Adams beer.

And now we conclude another massive post that has spanned multiple days of "research." I think that I may now use the word "research" when I really mean that I'm going out drinking. I was going to give a final thought about pumpkin beers here, but now I don't feel like doing it, and also I forgot what I was going to type. Um, so pretty much it comes down to this: if my birthday was in September, you would be buying me Pumpkinhead for my birthday. Since it's not, I guess I'll have to buy 8 cases next weekend. Hopefully I'll sober up for the Festa though, as I have a lot of research to do there.

-Jon

*I realize it's not fall, but I am not in charge of the beer schedule. You probably also noticed that Sam Summer came out on April 1st, which is not summer by any stretch of the imagination. You may have also seen Octoberfest/Oktoberfest beers out, even though it isn't September yet.** Beers apparently come out whenever they feel like it, regardless of how ridiculous it seems.

**I know the name is Oktoberfest, but it starts in September every year. Read a fucking book for once.