Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Cleveland Orchestra is. . .

either a group of morons, or possibly run by a group of morons.

I am going to assume the Cleveland Orchestra is a group of overdressed people who get together to play music written by a bunch of dead guys with some jackass up front waving a stick around while everyone there tries not to fall asleep so that they don't accidentally piss themselves during a particularly loud cymbal crash.

These people went on strike for more money. An orchestra. On strike. Let that sink in.

I am not even allowed to go on strike, but if I did, you can bet people would want to settle it because I actually perform a useful service! Well, not me, but other people that I work with.

Listen, Cleveland Orchestra. You play music. You don't fight crime, put out fires, cure sickness, educate people, pick up garbage or anything even remotely required for day-to-day life. When the garbage collectors in NYC struck, it made a difference. All you're doing is ruining the tuxedo renting economy of Cleveland. People need what, like 3 things to survive: food, water and shelter? Granted, there's a difference between eating a 4-star meal and eating spam, but at least restaurant workers provide a useful service. You do nothing.

Also, you apparently had a $147 million dollar endowment. As in, $147,000,000. And somehow, in the last 4 years, you spent at least $51 million of it. That's assuming you had the entire stash of cash inside the tuba case. If you had half a brain, you would be earning at least 3% on it, but since you're clearly brain-damaged, let's just say you earned another $3 million a year in various interests and dividends. That means you spent over $60 million dollars in the last 4 years. You motherfuckers.

I would be set for life easily with a million bucks, and these jackoffs waste $60 million and have the nerve to go on strike? Fuck them. I hope their Orchestra gets closed and someone eats all the instruments.

Besides, you're in Cleveland. Yeah, that's right; Cleveland. They don't even need an orchestra.

-Jon

PS - I know Slick usually handles the angry posts, but this just pissed me off.

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