How Do People Pass College in Morgantown?

As you could tell from my last post, I went on a trip over the weekend. That trip was to Morgantown, WV, home of West Virginia University. Frankly, I don't get how people pass college while going here. Whether it's the ridiculous drink specials, the ridiculous amount of cheap food, or the ridiculous amount of people, there is no way I could go to this place.

The first part of this post should probably be posted on our sister site, Mmmm, beers! [Editor's note - no it shouldn't, as no beers are actually reviewed here]. The first place we went in Morgantown was called Bent Willies, and do you want to know their drink special? FREE BEER from 10PM till 12 AM. And it wasn't even like they were giving you Natty Ice in 8-oz. cups with huge lines. They were giving away Leinenkugels, Miller Lites and Bud Lights. These aren't the best beers in the world, but they're decent, especially since they were free. Also, the price of beer was only $1.50 after the special ended. And as a bonus, you get to keep the cups, which are perfect for the frugal college student who is moving out soon and needs utensils to drink from. The friend I was visiting was a girl, and she used her tit magic to get us free shots from this rich guys. All in all, I spent a total of $1 Thursday night and got 5 beers, 4 shots and 5 durable plastic cups.

Morgantown is also filled with awesome food specials. At this place called The Sporting something (I forgot what the name was), you get all-you-can-eat pizza and wings for $5 between 5PM and 8PM. As if that's not good enough, the beer is $1.25 a pint, and the beers on tap were Bud Light, Yuengling and Miller Lite. Drinks get even cheaper when you meet Australians who buy everyone Jagerbombs because everything is so cheap. After 8PM, beers are $2. Not terrible. Long Island Iced Teas? $3. Oh, and walking around town you run into a bunch of coked-out football players. Good times.

Night 3 I was too tired to get really drunk, and we didn't go anywhere with cool beer specials. However, I did see Desean Butler living the dream. Why would he ever want to leave this place? The athletes are treated like kings, especially at this one bar whose name I forget where they get free drinks and can sleep with as many women as they want. Life sure is awesome if you're a college athlete at a school that gives a shit about real sports.

-Pat the Intern