Fucking Hypocrites

Here at MMMMOpinions, we are a lot of things: unemployed, immature, douchey . . . the list goes on, but one thing we are certainly NOT is hypocritical. We may make some outrageous claims (although in my case they are always correct) but we rarely if ever go back on our MMMMOpinions. I'm not saying we don't make mistakes, we make a couple every now and then, but I can't stand hypocrites. So this rant is specifically aimed at some old lady at my gym. I was going to make it my second "Fuck That Bitch" but she was talking to 2 dudes so it wouldn't have been perfectly accurate. So come along on a magic carpet ride as we navigate our way through my first ever, "Fuck That Hypocrite."

By the way, I was going to write an actual opinion about Boardwalk Empire but that will have to wait until tomorrow. Two days in a row? Everybody's a winner!!!!

Alright so I was at the gym getting huge and because my ipod is broken, I tend to be pretty creepy and listen to other people's conversations. How else am I going to find people to complain about on my blog? So I'm doing my best to listen but not appear like I'm listening and these people seem pretty fired up about something. I'm intrigued. They're talking about some sporting event and what great seats they had . . . blah, blah blah. "Oh we were in the 50th row. It was so cool." 50th row? That's good? Could've fooled me. Let's continue. Then they start complaining about the people that were tailgating and how drunk they were. At this point I was thrown because I thought they were talking about the Red Sox. Hmmmm, tailgating . . . it must be the Patriots. So back to the action they're saying they can't believe people were drinking at 10am and other old people talk. Then they drop the bombshell that they were at a NASCAR race. HOLY FUCKING PUG WANGS!!!!!! PEOPLE WERE DRINKING AT A NASCAR RACE?!?!?! ALERT THE NEW YORK TIMES!!!!!!! Are you fucking serious? Isn't that the whole point of going to a race? It has to be get super hammered because otherwise you're just watching cars go in a circle. Whatever, this isn't the rant about NASCAR, it's a rant about old fucking hypocrites. Yeah, now that you're in mid to late 40's with kids that are driving then yeah, you probably shouldn't be getting drunk at 10 in the morning. But don't act like you weren't a stupid slapdick fucking teenager when you were a kid. I'm sure you all were upstanding citizens. Maybe you're not going to get drunk at a NASCAR race or poop on some random person's lawn, but don't act like you're better than me. Unless you never did anything stupid as a kid then you should keep your fucking mouth shut, well no, keep talking because otherwise I wouldn't have anything to complain about. "Oh I would never do that." Yeah? Go fuck yourself.

Fucking hypocrites.

-Slick