Go Fuck Yourself Joe Namath

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" has been on tv a lot lately and I think that it's an underrated movie. Yeah, it' s not a laugh-a-minute thrill ride like "Superbad" but there a lot funny scenes. One of my favorites is towards the end the movie when Jason Segel is playing the piano. It reminds me of myself because just like him, I also suck and don't do anything of value. Well unless you count infrequently writing horrible blog posts for a few family and friends, but I'm not sure that contributes to our GDP in any substantial way. Oh that reminds me: good news everyone! The recession officially ended a year ago, which brings me back to my original point: I'm introducing a new segment in honor of this historic day. It's called "Go Fuck Yourself," a spinoff of Fuck That Bitch. The difference is that GFY is for celebrities who piss me off. FTB is for people in my everyday life that piss me off. It's the subtle differences that make me the blogger you know and love.

Everyone remembers Joe Namath for that one time he guaranteed his team was going to win, then his team went and won. Now it might be because I'm cynical about everything but I don't think this is that big of a deal, or really worth remembering at all. The thing about athletes is that they're all egocentric douches. It is completely unsurprising that an athlete thought he was going to win a game. I'm a douche and I'm not even good at anything but if I was a professional athlete I'd expect to win every single game. So big fucking deal, Joe Namath thought he was going to win. Do you know what Namath did after that game? Nothing. He won one more playoff game in his entire career. Namath was 62-63 for his career. He threw 47 more interceptions than touchdowns in his career. His career QB rating was 65.5 i.e. terrible. Basically what I'm getting it is that Joe Namath was a shitty NFL quarterback but everyone considers him a legend. And this is where he incurs my wrath.

Now that the Jets are relevant again after a long period of being awful (unless you ask Jets fans) Joe Namath saw his shadow or some shit and won't stop running his mouth. And boy, does Joe Namath hate Braylon Edwards. I don't have a problem with this because I couldn't give two shits about Braylon Edwards. However, Mr. Edwards recently got into a little bit of trouble for being a little bit drunk when police pulled him over. And by a little bit I mean he blew a .16. I don't really know how many drinks that translates to but I know that it's way over the legal limit. Clearly it was a stupid thing to do, so I'm not going to judge him. I'd rather take the high road . . . and judge Joe Namath. "It's inexcusable at this stage, absolutely inexcusable," Namath said of Edwards' behavior. "It should not have happened." This coming from a man who got blasted before going on live tv and tried to make out with Suzy Kolber. This coming from a man who, if you type his name into Google, the second most popular search is "Joe Namath Drunk." This coming from a man who weeks after attempting to make out with Suzy checked into an outpatient alcoholism treatment program.

So Joe Namath, go fuck yourself.

-Slick