An Open Letter

Dear Ludlow, All of Western Massachusetts, and Mmmm, opinions Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted last month, is no longer an Mmmm, opinions blogger.

This was announced with a zero day, narcissistic (maybe), self-promotional paragraph culminating with a short post about his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of blogging and probably the history of barely read blog entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the editor and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your favorite opinionated blog have not betrayed you nor EVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks (and months and years!!), we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much (well, not really, but whatever) and deserve so much more (ok, probably not, but just go with it).

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT MMMM, OPINIONS WILL WIN A PULITZER PRIZE (OR WHATEVER THEY GIVE TO INTERNET BUFFOONS) BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'SLICK' WINS ONE."

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the. . . uh, trophy/plaque/certificate/whatever, to my bookcase, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works. Not really sure what this has to do with anything, but I wanted to make sure you knew the rules.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "angry one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on. . . uh, blogs? Who knows.

The self-declared former "Slick" will be taking the "curse" with him down the hall. To his bedroom. And until he does "right" by Mmmm, opinions and Pat the Intern, Slick (and the blog where he writes/curses) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Internet.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the entertainment you have long deserved (again, not really) and is long overdue (yeah, sorry I haven't been writing for a little while; my B, yo)....

Jon

Majority Writer

Mmmm [nouns] Franchise