Old School vs. Nu Skool

In a move that's sure to shock the MMMM Opinion world I, Slick, have commandeered Jon's format of the Thing vs. Thing comparison. Commandeered . . . it's a nautical term. Not only that but I hijacked that sweet title from an old ESPN segment. It used to be some sort of weird bullshit where Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith would yell at each other about something, probably because one of them is black and the other one is old. In any case, if two jackasses can be paid to run their mouths then why can't those jackasses be me and Jon? "But wait," you say, "Isn't this a three person blog?" In theory, yes. But even after having Netflix for like a year, and I know for a fact that he watched Gangs of New York this week, he still won't write anything. Oh come on. Don't worry if your post isn't funny . . . Jon still writes all the time. Boom, roasted. But in all seriousness, Jon put this blog on his back this month. And I know you people depend on this blog in order to provide you with brief respites from your otherwise crappy lives. Which is why I'm ashamed of my last post. I'm going to pretend that last one didn't happen and I'll try to be better from now on. So please, make sure your safety bar is secure and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. By the way, Old School vs. Nu Skool of course refers to video games. It's going to be Nintendo/Super Nintendo vs. PS3.

Also, as a dedicated reader, let's call him "Christopher Garfield Dias, second son of Albert and Nancy, born February 5th, 1984 and current resident of 98 Dartmouth Street, Boston MA" pointed out, the name of this blog could accurately be changed to MMMM Rage. In that vein, I'll try to keep this post as rage free as possible.

Visuals
Could the Nintendo score a surprise upset? I'm confident in saying that Milon from his eponymous Secret Castle is the most realistic human ever found in a video game. He's just so life-like the way he runs around . . . shooting bubbles at . . . all sorts of weird shit. It's been said before but it deserves repeating: No game, ever, makes less sense than Milon's Secret Castle. At no point in that game do you receive any instructions or sense of purpose. They don't even tell you how you beat each room. I think you're supposed to find a key and a secret door or something. No one really knows. There's a video online of some guy beating it, but he must have cheated because there's no way that game is beatable. Old School games had a tendency to assume you knew what was going on even without explaining it. Like in Final Fantasy, which is one of my favorite games ever, some guy is like "Oh yeah, you should go to Crescent Lake." That's great, but where the fuck is Crescent Lake? It's awesomely frustrating. Or frustratingly awesome. But it's one of those.

Advantage: Nu Skool. Even if you have a woman's brain (approximately 1/3 the size of a man's) you should know that the PS3 is taking this category. Despite my nostalgia for the Old School graphics, it was never really a contest.

Difficulty
People nowadays suck. (See, I could totally be Skip Bayless) If a game is too easy, people complain that the game is trying to appeal to too wide of an audience. If a game is too hard, people complain because they're not better at video games. You can't have it both ways shitheads. But Old School games? Fuck, those things were impossible. I tried playing Robowarrior the other day, I died in less than 30 seconds. The Megaman games? I spent more than 20 minutes trying to beat Quickman's level because I'm fucking retarded and couldn't remember the pattern of the lasers. But after I did I felt like a total badass. So fuck you Quickman, I just used my flash stopper and made you my bitch. When I beat Megamans 2-6 last week, I felt like I had really accomplished something. When I beat Grand Theft Auto IV I was like, "Eh, Grand Theft Auto III was better." I just don't have the same feeling of accomplishment when I beat a PS3 game.

Advantage: Old School

Lasting Appeal
I will continue to play Megaman games until the day I die. (By the way, if you want to play Nintendo games online try either virtualnes.com or nintendo8.com) I will keep playing Final Fantasy because it brings back fond memories of my childhood. Chrono Trigger . . . one of the best games of all time. OF ALL TIME. "That's one of my top 5 watching games." PS3 games on the other hand? After I beat it I'm probably not coming back to it. It's not because they're bad games, not by any stretch, but they just don't have the same allure that the games of my youth have.

Advantage: Old School. I don't know if there's any PS3 game that I'll still be playing in 10 years but I know that I'll download an emulator so that I can beat Ogre Battle for like the 13th time.

Check back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of Old School vs. Nu Skool. OH NO HE DIDN'T!! That's my M. Knight Shyamalan twist ending of the week.

-Slick