Panera's Cuban Chicken Panini is. . .

ok, I guess. I was hoping for a little more awesomeness based on the menu's description though. Also, you get to hear another funny story at the bottom of this tale. I am starting to think that I should probably have a Twitter account if so much funny/ridiculous stuff is going to happen to me.

Wow, that last post was the 50th one! And I missed it. Oh well, I will try to make it up to you with some kind of 100th post extravaganza.

So the sandwich is some kind of all-natural chicken with ham, cheese, chipotle sauce, mustard and . . . spicy pickles. . . . Now, don't get me wrong; I like pickles. Well, dill pickles. Those other ones suck, especially the "half-sour" ones. They look like dill ones, but taste like garbage! Stupid pickles. Sorry, got a little side-tracked there. The point is that while I will eat pickles without any issues, I do not want them on my sandwich.

I think we can agree that the pickle incident from today was my fault for not reading the menu. So be it. I will have to try the sandwich again without them to see if it changes my opinion. The weird thing is, I tried a pickle by itself and liked it. And the "spicy" moniker was definitely apt. There is just something about them that makes me think they have no business mixing with my sandwich. So cut the shit, Panera!

The rest of the sandwich was pretty good. I really liked the mustard, which was some crazy sun-dried tomato based mustard. Sometimes I think restaurants just make up ridiculous ingredients just to see if anyone is reading the menu. I didn't really taste any chipotle sauce, but the chicken was good, and ham is a nice extra. The menu claimed that the cheese was Swiss cheese, but I cannot confirm or deny this rumour. It was good though. Not Bacon Turkey Bravo good, but good enough.

Do I need special bread or cooking devices to make paninis? I could probably look it up, but that comes dangerously close to being research, and that is not really what we do here. I hope it is easy, because I plan on panini-ing the shit out of some food this summer. Sandwiches are clearly improved by crushing them inside a cooking device. I bet I could do it with a Foreman grill. . .

On the other hand, I also had a brownie there, and it was fantastic! I would definitely give that several thumbs up.

Now for the real reason you showed up. Story time!

Story 1: Not really a story, but Table & Vine is like the most out-of-control package store I have ever seen. I am not sure I can handle that many beer choices.

Story 2: If you are a lady in a wheelchair pretending that you need money for whatever bullshit excuse you gave me, you should not go with the story that you were just released from the hospital and are trying to get money to eat, followed by asking me for a cigarette. I hate smokers. But enjoy my $1.17, which I am sure you will be taking over to Table & Vine to buy booze.

-Jon