The Old Navy Supermodelquins are . . .

not really a surprise here, I think these commercials are fucking stupid. They might be the worst commercials on television. I hate them more than the "Most Retarded Puppets." I haven't seen Count Kobe or Retard LeBron lately so I'm going to assume that it's because of me. If you've seen one recently let me know so I can go hate it. Nevertheless, for now the Supermodelquins are firmly cemented as my least favorite commercial. But we here at MMMMOpinions know that with great power . . . or the ability to type . . . we have a responsibility not just to hate but to improve. So today I'm taking a page out of the Jon Dias playbook and I'm going to suggest how to make the supermodelquins not so fucking stupid. Which they are. Fucking stupid.

Now, there are a lot of these shit nuggets out there but the most recent ones appear to center around some sort of "America's Next Top Model" format. Yes, I am embarrassed that I know that. Anyway the commercials are some sort of stupid shit where a human is surrounded by talking mannequins or some stupid shit and then they get eliminated because of some stupid shit and then there's some sort of stupid shit voiceover talking about some more stupid shit. Just a really solid commercial all-around. It's just baffling how someone could have thought this was a good idea. But fortunately I have a solution other than just completely scrapping this horrible campaign.

So that's the premise: STUPID WOMAN is going through the regular commercial and gets eliminated because her hair was in her eyes or something. But here's where we present two alternatives of which you may pick your favorite. I told you people to get involved before but now I'm requesting your mmmmopinion on which one is better. That's right: this blog just got interactive.

Scenario 1: After STUPID WOMAN gets eliminated she completely loses her shit and just starts going ballistic on all of the modelquins. I mean, she really starts fucking these things up. She begins by whipping one of them across the set, then gets all Bruce Banner on their asses and rips two in half. Next, for some reason there's a woodchipper in the corner and she chucks a couple in there and then for her coup de grace she grabs a battleaxe and stars hacking them to pieces. The commercial ends by panning out and the Old Navy voiceover guy says something like "Old Navy: Battleaxes not included.'

Scenario 2: After STUPID WOMAN gets eliminated she completely loses her shit, but this time she begins sobbing uncontrollably. She's really working up a good cry when there's a man's voice going, "Honey, are you ok?" The scene shifts to a bedroom where STUPID WOMAN has set up chairs and some other furniture to look like the supermodelquins. STUPID WOMAN rushes out of the room saying, "Yeah I'm fine. Why would you even ask me that?" Camera shifts to MAN standing in doorway, but at this point you can only see his face. As he takes in the scene before him he utters, "And she says I'm crazy." Camera then shifts again to show his entire body, revealing MAN wearing a suit of armor. MAN then turns and yells, "Alright I'm going to the grocery store." Old Navy voiceover guy finishes the commercial by saying, "Old Navy: Supermodelquin style for super low prices."

Now let your voices be heard.

Smoke #2: Hate with a little desire for improvement. Ugh, there must be something in the water.

-Slick