The Southwest Airline "Bags Fly Free" Commercials are . . .

absolutely fucking irritating. I hate them about as much as I hate Duke and those stupid little fuckers just advanced to the Final Four which is so fucking annoying. This morning my roommate said that he had to root for Duke to win because, and I'm quoting, "I have to rep the ACC." That might be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. In case you don't know, BC is the same conference as Duke so by some sort of stupid little douchefucker moron logic it makes sense to root for Duke because it makes BC look good or some stupid shit. I told him that I would rather drag my nuts across broken glass than ever root for Duke. And I mean it. However, that "Matt" fellow promised a post about how much he hated Duke so I won't steal his thunder. Remember? Way back in his post about Wes Welker? Remember that?

So the most recent Fuckwest airline commercial has a bunch of fatasses walking toward an airplane and then they lift up their shirts spelling out "BAGS FLY FREE". Just fantastic work. Let's see: there used to be that stupid ass remix where it was kind of like a rap and then there was another stupid one where there's a bunch of baggage handlers yelling stupid shit at airplanes like "Why do you charge for bags?" To make money? So I guess stripping fat guys is an improvement but it's the kind where you go from failing to having a D- average so it's not something to brag about. Apparently Southwest is trying to convince me to fly their stupid ass airline because I don't have to pay for bags, which could be as much as $120 roundtrip, you know, if I need every article of clothing I've ever owned.

Everyone loves saving money, so I suppose that not having to pay baggage fees is a facet of your airline you would like to promote. Just don't be so fucking annoying about it. Also, don't make me try to believe that your baggage handlers love bags. I don't fly often but I have yet to see a baggage handler that didn't handle luggage like it was a sack of shit. Maybe Southwest has the market cornered on baggage handlers that like their job . . . but I doubt it.

Also, I've never flown Southwest, nor will I because of their stupid commercials, but apparently they have some sort of free for all fuckfest when it comes to seating so that no one has a reserved seat. That just sounds awful even if my lovely little bags get to ride for free.

Finally, my Snapple "Fun Fact of the Day": apparently beavers used to be the size of bears. I find that terrifying.

Smoke #4: Hate. I need to do one every day in order to get to 7 before March ends so keep an eye out.

-Slick