ESPN is my homepage, so I have to look at his stupid smiling face every morning when I load up a session of Safari in order to do all the important internet things I do. That would be: mouth off on Facebook, read Penny Arcade, talk trash on SWC, read my brothers' blog posts, and randomly click links that seem promising. Yeah my life is exciting.
It was that last bit of internet jackassery that got me even more annoyed than usual at Mr Reilly. His tag line was something about the most important event in women's sports history, so I was intrigued and decided to click it. Also, <Insert a joke from Slick about women's sports> as I am sleepy and don't feel like being creative. Anyways, the article was about how some woman named something won some men's bowling event and that is like huge or something.
Seriously? What a douchebag. Bowling is one of the only "sports" where men don't have an obvious advantage over women, and that's the one he chooses as the most important thing women have ever done in sports?
He also goes on and criticizes a bunch of people for not making a bigger deal of it. My guess is that if anyone else had said anything, his article wouldn't have been written at all. So basically he makes a big deal of the fact that other people don't make a big deal of it. Douchebag. He also says something like Barack Obama should have called the woman. I can't really remember because I don't like thinking ahead when I type and bothering to remember details like that. Based on the current economic climate, our multiple wars and the fact that the postal system is embarrassing, I would hope that the Big O would have more important things to do. I wonder if Rick Reilly even called her. Obviously it takes a big man to call out other people and a big douchebag to call out other people and not even bother to take your own advice. I obviously fall into the 2nd category. It's far more fun to sit back and call Rick Reilly a douchebag and rip on the Cleveland Orchestra and things like that than to actually go out and be a good person. But I'm not getting paid hundreds of thousands to sit here and be a douchebag. I do it for the love of the game. Actually, I hope Rick Reilly doesn't read this article. That would be embarrassing for me.
Also, can you even name a professional bowler? Ok, name one more. Out of names yet? That's what I thought. It's like the most obscure sport to be a fan of. Well, of which to be a fan, but that sounds douchey, which means Rick Reilly would probably write like that.
Another issue is that since Reilly no longer at Sports Illustrated, I am exposed to his saccharine, Mitch Albom-esque bullshit on a more regular basis. On a side note, is there anyone who has found a niche quite like Mitch Albom, other than maybe that guy who wrote the books that became The Notebook and Dear John and that new movie that may or may not be a figment of my imagination or possibly Dan Brown? Those 3 guys (or 2 if Mitch Albom or Dan Brown also wrote The Notebook) have literally written the same book over and over and people keep buying them. That's how Reilly writes: everything is about how someone we don't really know of is awesome and we should feel like shit for not recognizing this awesomeness.
I think the problem is that Reilly's general attitude reminds me of Joe Buck, who I also can't stand. Joe Buck acts like he's superior to everyone that is around him and that we're blessed to get to listen to him broadcast. As soon as baseball season starts and reminds me of how much I hate Joe Buck after having to listen to him broadcast football games, I am going to write a post about how awful he is when he does Sunday Night Baseball or Wednesday Night Baseball or Saturday Early Afternoon Baseball or Tuesday Morning Brunch Baseball or whichever show the Red Sox sometimes play on and force me to listen to someone other than Orsillo and Remy.
Wow, this post went in a lot of different directions.
Here's the summary: Rick Reilly is a douchebag, Joe Buck is a pretentious douchebag, Mitch Albom and Dan Brown and possibly some other guy only have one literary move, bowling is awesome, and a woman winning a bowling event is pretty cool, but it's not the second coming of Jesus. Chill out, Rick. Why don't you write a post about Tiger Woods or something. I don't think that well's run dry yet.
-Jon
No comments:
Post a Comment