The USPS is. . .

terrible. Seriously. They literally have no idea what they are doing with my mail. I think we should scrap the whole postal system and let Amazon do it.

I ordered some books from Amazon about a week ago. Yes, I am a nerd who reads books. (For you slow folks, books are like movies except you have to imagine the visuals and the words aren't spoken out loud. I have now spent several years living with people who don't read.) According to Amazon's sweet tracking service, my package went out for shipping on March 3rd. Now, since I am super cheap and use the free shipping option, I expected my stuff in about a week. However, according to the United States Postal Service, they had no idea that I was even going to receive a package. Hmmm. . .

How can Amazon be able to tell me exactly when my package left Lexington, KY, but the people responsible for delivering it have no idea that they even have it. It took until March 8th for the package to even register on the USPS system! Who is running the show here?

To make it even more hilarious/moronic, this morning I decided to get wacky and look up my package location. According to USPS.com, they had just been notified that there was a package waiting to be picked up. Imagine my surprise when I open my front door 10 minutes ago and find the package. Wow, talk about fast service! According to Amazon, the package took 6 days to get here, which is not unreasonable. According to USPS, the package got here in less than 12 hours. Those lying bastards!

Clearly the post office is just randomly making the dates up after they have the package delivered. I am not sure that you can call a service "Track & Confirm" when there is no one doing the actual "Track" part. It should just be called "Imaginary Dates When We'll Give You Your Stuff." At least then it's true.

Are we sure we want the government in charge of health care? That's a little bit more important than my books. I can just picture it. You go in for an MRI on some random date, like April 18th. However, according to their records, and despite the actual scans they have on file, they were only notified on April 30th that they should be expecting you for an MRI. And then they take 6 weeks to send your scans to a doctor.

We're all going to die young.

-Jon